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15-Jan-2018 10:20

Did you know that if you report it stolen the insurance company gives you money to buy a new one? There is no space in there due to the hydroponics system, pots and bags of nutrients.

I usually do this every eleven months as it saves having to pay for an annual service. I read somewhere that it is ok to have up to three hundred and seventy marijuana plants for personal use. As I do not have a backyard and the plants take up most of the apartment, I sleep in a hammock stretched between two of the larger trunks.

I painted my Standish Selecta-12 bright red and constructed a moustache by clipping a large amount of hair from the neighbour's cat and gluing it to my upper lip. Dragged to my neighbour's house, my apology through lips the size of bananas came out as "Imsryfrctnheroffyrcat iwntdtobemgnumpi." I also wanted to be frozen and thawed out in the 25th century due to Wilma Deering's jumpsuit but despite emptying the refrigerator and sitting in it for over an hour, the only result was mild hypothermia and a belting.

I have been considering sitting the police exam again as protecting the community from burglars, murderers and blogs must be very fulfilling.

I need to bury the two dead backpackers I have in the spare room as the smell is starting to attract suspicion. It is a fairly large job as one of the backpackers is American and will therefore require a hole several sizes larger than normal.

On the plus side, the other is from England which obviously means no dental records.

I am fairly fit due to regularly thinking about jogging and I once performed a jumping jack.

It was unintentional and involved a spider on the bath mat but still counts.

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I do indeed take the matter seriously and will attempt to facilitate your request by 5pm tomorrow despite the fact that I am extremely busy this weekend.It is like sleeping in a jungle and sometimes I pretend I am a baby monkey.

If you are strong willed, outspoken, maybe sometimes apathetic—you are intimidating."But let’s face it, these words never really explain why that guy never asks us out.… continue reading »

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